


[ON-GOING] The Ten, Twenty-Five Hues of Kozume Kenma

by jobixen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, University Student Kozume Kenma, University Student Kuroo Tetsurou, highschool
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28106424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jobixen/pseuds/jobixen
Summary: In which Kuroo Tetsuro meets Kozume Kenma different times — each one feeling like it's from another lifetime.- A story told through the lines of "25 Lives" by Tongari
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	1. 25 LIVES

**Author's Note:**

> — Take note that this story will revolve around different years in each chapter. The years will go back and fourth to recount certain events as the lines from the poem goes on.
> 
> This story was inspired after this 25 Lives artwork: https://www.shousetsubangbang.com/mirror/25-lives/ . Yall should check it our before reading,,, anyways I hope you enjoy!!!!!

**25 LIVES, BY TONGARI**

The very first time I remember you, you are blonde and don’t love me back.

The next time you are brunette, and you do.

After a while I give up trying to guess if the colour of your hair means anything. 

because even if you don’t exist, I am always in love with you.

I remember most fondly those lifetimes where we get to grow up together,

when you share your secrets and sorrows and hiding places with me.

I love how you play along with my bad ideas,

before you grow up and realize they are bad ideas.  
(And in our times together I have many bad ideas.)

When we meet as adults you’re always much more discerning. I don’t blame you.

Yet, always, you forgive me. 

As if you understand what’s going on, and you’re making up for

all the lifetimes in which one of us doesn’t exist,

and the ones where we just, barely, never meet.

I hate those. I prefer the ones in which you kill me.

But when all’s said and done, I’d surrender to you in other ways.

Even though each time, I know I’ll see you again, I always wonder

is this the last time?

Is that really you?

And what if you’re perfectly happy

without me?

Ah, but I don’t blame you; I’ll never burn as brilliantly as you. It’s only fair

that I should be the one

to chase you across ten, twenty-five, a hundred lifetimes   
until I find the one where you’ll return to me.


	2. The First

_The very first time I remember you, you are blonde and don’t love me back._

* * *

**2018, HIGH SCHOOL**

It was hot. Really hot.

As the sun was scorching the fields outside, every student was cleverly executing their own unique ways of trying to stay still and stay cool.

And yet there I was.

Running from the left to the right sides of the court like a maniac. Eyes almost popping out of its sockets as I try to follow the ball as it jumps around the hands and fingers of my teammates. Arms reaching out and stretching out beyond its limits as I attempt to block the other team’s play from crossing the net. Legs trembling, aching, begging me to stop. No. Scratch that. My whole body was begging me to stop. But I didn’t.

“Kuroo, get the last!” my hands, arms, legs, and feet automatically went into motion. It coordinated with each other, swaying and moving to a rhythm that my body is very familiar of. I quickly ran after the ball, jumping with the best force that I could muster, and hitting the ball straight to the floor of the opponent’s court. 

We won.

My arms fell down to my knees as I try to catch my breath. God, I love volleyball, but this practice match was awfully long and exhausting. My sweat was unstoppable, I tried to wipe my face with my jersey but it was useless, my whole shirt was soaked; so I gave up and stood straight.

My eyes immediately found the person to last call my name in the game. He was standing in the middle of the court; in the same position that I just left. His chin-length blonde hair was swept back, giving direct view to the rest of his face.

And I stood there, watching.

Once he was sure that his heart beat was normal again, he straightened up. And with very little effort, moved his body to face the direction of the bleachers.

That was when his eyes met mine.

He looked back straight at me, never really bothered by my stare. His eyes were golden and quiet; they pierced through me like a cat staring at you in the night. His lips were red from all the blood jumping in his system, they were slightly apart as he was still breathing quite heavily. His chest was moving up and down — inhaling and exhaling. I watched as he raised his right arm and used his long fingers to comb his hair out of the way. He moved so gracefully and so timidly — exerting just the barest minimum effort. And yet he still manages to do it perfectly. That time, there was something so different with him as he stood six-feet away from me; different from all the other times that he did.

Now I could say, that in all the years that I knew him, watched him, and grew up with him, that was the very first time I actually saw Kozume Kenma.

_Nice to meet you like this, Kenma._

“You know, if you keep staring at him like that, he’ll melt,” I was brought back into senses when Bokuto put his hands around my shoulder and whispered those words to me.

“Shut up, loser” I snapped back. But he knew I didn’t mean it because the sharpness in my voice was accompanied by my grinning face. My eyes found their way back to Kenma who’s now accompanied by Akaashi, walking side-by-side towards our direction.

“Good game, kitty-cat,” Bokuto said, smiling with all his teeth showing. Kenma only smiled as a reply and proceeded to approach our bench. I waved goodbye to the other two and quickly followed after the said kitty-cat.

“Wanna go eat some ice cream later? My treat,” I asked him while I was going through my bag — finding my dry clothes.

“No.”

My head turned to his direction so quickly that I was almost sure that I felt my bones break. “Why not?” I attempted to sound as hurt as I could, although I already had a clue as to why he rejected my offer.

“My new game arrived this morning, I was looking forward to playing it the whole day,” he said matter-of-factly.

“So you’re choosing your games over me?” I playfully said.

“Yes,” he smiled back. I rolled my eyes at him because I knew he didn’t; because I knew he spent the whole day running around and playing as a setter in our volleyball match instead of staying at home with his newly arrived game; because I knew that he didn’t said that to hurt my feelings; because I knew that my heart skipped a different kind of beat when I met this new version of him in my mind a few minutes ago; because I knew that Kozume Kenma didn’t saw me the same way I saw him today but he still cares.

Because I knew Kozume Kenma doesn’t love me like that, but he doesn’t hate me at all.


	3. The Second

**CHAPTER 2: The Second**

_The next you were brunette,_

* * *

**2020, COLLEGE**

I don’t know why my room back in my parent’s home was filled with snow, but Bokuto didn’t seemed to bothered by it as he indulged himself lying in it, creating angels with his arms. Tsukishima was there too, he was sitting crossed-legged on my bed while reading a book; I sat alongside him, eye-ing the rest of the room.

There was a glare of light, I can’t really tell where it’s coming from or where it actually is, one minute it’s everywhere and the next it’s not. I didn’t mind though, in fact, none of the people in my snow-filled room minded. 

My hand was sticky. The ice cream I was holding was melting so quickly, it was dripping and flowing like an open faucet, it seemed like there was no end to it. And I just sat there, watching it flow.

I felt Tsukki move beside me, he reached out to my shoulders and proceeded to shake me. I was looking at him now. His mouth was open and moving, but it wasn’t his voice that’s talking. “Kuroo, wake up.” It really wasn’t his voice.

“Kuroo.” It was dark, then there was a hint of light, and then it turned dark again.

“Wake up, Tetsuro,” this time I knew whose voice was talking. “Tetsuro. Kuroo Tetsuro.” The shaking was getting faster and faster as the shaker was getting more and more impatient. And finally-

“God, Kenma, it’s the middle of the night. Why are you here?” I said with my eyes still closed. Irritation obvious in my voice as I try to go back to my deep slumber. I shifted my position to lay on my stomach, burying my head under the mass of pillows.

“Let’s play,” his fingers were drumming on my naked back, making his last attempt to wake me up.

“No.”

“But I just got into the boss level and it requires a side kick to be played. I really need you.” He said. I felt him shift his full weight on the arms lying on top of me.

“Let’s play it tomorrow,” I mumbled, still trying to sleep.

“I can’t. I’m going home tomorrow.” He was beginning to shake me again, harder this time. I sighed and cursed under my breath, I knew he wasn’t going to give up any time soon. I begrudgingly turned and sat upright.

“You know, I gave you spare keys for emergencies, not so you can wake me up at 2 in the morning to play some game” I said as I stood up and walked to my dresser, looking for a t-shirt to cover my exposed torso.

“I didn’t use the key, Yaku let me in,” he said, to which I raised my eyebrows. Now fully clothed, I walked towards the mini fridge across my bed. As I passed by him, my hands reached out, automatically petting and messing his hair.

“Where is he?” I asked.

“I don’t know, he was leaving when I arrived. Off to do college parties, I guess. It’s still Friday night in their clock, you’re literally the only college student sleeping in your dorm tonight,” he said. His hands were busy fixing the mess I caused to his hair. I watched his fingers as it combed through the brunette strands that go all the way to his cheeks, blending with the remaining blonde hair that continued all the way to his chin.

“Where’s the game?”

“In my dorm.”

“You walked all the way here to wake up me up, and now we’re going to walk all the way there?” I held up my hands to emphasize that. “You should’ve brought it here, Kenma”

He stood up from his sitting position and looked at me grinning. “I know, but it was heavy.” He walked to the door and beckoned me to follow him out. Freshmen like Kenma lived in the dorm building at the opposite end of the campus with seniors, while sophomores and juniors shared the dorm building I was living in with my roommate, Yaku.

The campus was dimly lit – it was dark. And although it was already summer, it was still cold outside. That didn’t stop anyone though, as there were still a lot of students fooling around the streets. And since the rules and regulations were pretty lax in our campus, most of them were drunk. I walked side-by-side with Kenma, his eyes were looking down the road, not really aware of the effect he gives me.

The door to his dorm room wasn’t locked. He opened it and we were greeted by a dark room, the only available light was coming off of his roommate, Akaashi’s laptop that’s lying on top of his bed on his side of the room. The owner was there too, covered in thick blankets, face illuminated by the light from the screen. He waved at me the moment I walked in.

“Hey, Akaashi,” I greeted. I found my way to Kenma’s bed, while he went straight to his console, fixing the game.

“Who’s there?” An all too familiar cheery voice came from Akaashi’s laptop.

“Kuroo’s here with Kenma,”

“Oh hey! Kuroo!!” I walked to Akaashi’s bed and waved at the giggly Bokuto on the laptop’s screen. “Akaashi, let them have the room, come here with me, I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” I playfully answered Bokuto before Akaashi could. The former ace only laughed at me on his end of the call.

“Yeah, I probably should…” Akaashi said, eyes teasing Kenma who’s now watching us innocently with a PS5 controller at hand. Akaashi bid his boyfriend a temporary farewell, closed his laptop and stood up. “Now, be good you two.” He said. He reached for his coat and keys before slamming the door behind us.

I looked at Kenma who’s still looking at me, sitting cross-legged on the floor. “Well, let’s play.”

The boss level was extremely hard; we couldn’t win the game even after the fourth try. I sighed and gave up. “I’m really sleepy, Kenma.” I crawled to his bed, facing the wall with my back turned against Kenma. Soon after, I felt the bed shift, and sure enough he was also lying on the bed beside me.

“Akaashi came out to his parents last week,” he blurted. I turned to his side, and now we’re lying face-to-face with each other.

“How did it go?”

“Okay, I guess. Somehow, with Bokuto coming over their house all the time, they kinda already knew.” His smile was illuminating the whole room.

“Remember when you came out to yours?” I asked him. “You were such a crying mess; we couldn’t understand a word you were saying. And you were saying a lot of things, that was probably the longest you talked in your whole life”

“Yeah,” he giggled. “When you left, they kept asking if you were my boyfriend. And I kept saying why would they assume something like that, you weren’t even gay. And then they asked me why you were there when I came out if you weren’t my boyfriend.”

I laughed out loud, and then Kenma joined in. I watch him, he looked so happy. And he was laughing. Truly laughing. His eyes were closed and his nose were scrunched up the way cats do when they yawn. All his teeth were showing with his mouth open. His head was bobbing up and down, and his hair moved with it.

And I thought, how many years has it been since the last time I saw something like this beautiful? Since I saw him and ACTUALLY saw him? Three? Two? It felt like a lifetime ago.

_Long time no see, Kozume Kenma._

Strands of his hair fell down to his face, and my hand moved to tuck it behind his ear before I could even think. This taken him aback. He stopped laughing, and looked straight at me.

I quickly retreated my hands to my side, chuckling awkwardly. “Yeah, but I wasn’t. Well, actually, it turned out that I was gay, but I wasn’t your boyfriend.” I smiled at him timidly.

“Well, maybe you should be.”

* * *

_and you do._

* * *

Oh.

I searched his face for any hint of humor but there wasn’t. Kozume Kenma was serious. He was lying face-to-face on a bed with me, and he was serious. I retract my hand back to his face and cupped his cheek.

I was holding Kenma’s face.

None of this makes any sense.

His own hand reached out to my hand on his cheek, and he smiled.

It’s only 3:56 am on a Saturday morning, and Kenma already managed to get me out my own bed, dragged me to walk across the two ends of the campus, play video games, lay on a bed with him, and now his making my heart beat wilder than it did that one faithful day in our high school volleyball court. That day, he was blonde; today, he was brunette; and my heart were always crazy the same.

* * *

_And after a while, I gave up trying to guess if the color of your hair means anything._   
_because even if you don’t exist, I’m always in love with you._

* * *

“Yeah, maybe I should be.”

“You should be.”


End file.
